Homeschooling Hadley

I finished up in the NICU last Wednesday and because my new job requirements are some Saturdays and some evenings, I am going to have a lot of time to devote to my baby girl!  I am so excited about this, as I felt pretty guilty recently for having to nap and being exhausted the days after I worked the previous night.  I know Hadley got far too much time in front of the television, but some days that's all I could do to survive.  But, that's no longer an issue!

Hadley is so smart and is picking new things up everyday.  I love watching the wheels turn in her head!  She's not in preschool and I'm the only form of entertainment she gets right now, so I thought it would be neat to start "homeschooling" her!  I do not plan to homeschool her in the long run, but  I do want her to learn things while she is home with me.  So, each week I am going to cover one topic with her, read some books, do some crafts, etc.  I'm really excited about it!

**Disclaimer: Hadley is 16 months old and the best way she learns right now is through free play.  Because of this, I've limited the "lesson" to be done within an hour each day, usually less.  Each piece of the lesson takes no more than 5 minutes (usually) and if we are doing something she doesn't want to do, we don't do it!  I'm not forcing her to participate in any activities she doesn't want to!  I want to cultivate an appreciation for learning in her and I want her to have fun!

If you want to keep up with our lessons, I'll be posting weekly as well as putting pictures on instagram under the hashtag #homeschoolinghadley

Follow along with us!

Being a Parent Is Hard

Being a parent is hard.  I know, I know...I only have one!  Some families have 2, 3, 4...and if you're the Duggars you have upwards of 2 dozen kids!  I haven't been there (yet!) so I can honestly say I don't know how you do it.  Hadley is 15 1/2 months and never stops.  Never.  I love it because she is learning so much and doesn't want to miss anything, but by the end of the day...my butt is whooped.  Over the past few days, I've thought about the different reasons parenting is hard to me.  Here's a few of them.

Always on the go!

Parenting is hard because I don't know if I'm making the right decisions for her.  Is keeping her out of daycare the right choice?  She's so active and friendly, would she bloom even more with children her age?  Or would she not get the attention she needed?  When do I need to take her to the dentist?  I brush her 10 little teeth every day.  But... I let her eat raisins...are her teeth going to rot and fall out before we even get our first cleaning?  I let her watch tv sometimes.  (The horror...) Is she going to develop a learning disorder because I let her watch tv before the recommended age of 2?  Is the time right to cut out her morning nap, or does she still need that sleep?

Parenting is hard because I have no time to myself.  I have to make an effort to get up at 6 every morning to make time for my devotional, enjoy a cup of coffee, and a little quiet before baby girl wakes up.  Shower by myself?  Joke.  Change from dirty sweats into clean sweats?  Not without a sidekick.  Bathroom?  I have my own personal flusher.  Eat a delicious breakfast?  Only if I want to share most of it (with my daughter, my dog, and my cat...yikes.).  And when hubby gets home from work, he needs attention, too! ;)


(My sincere apologies to all the Target shoppers who get to see my un-showered, no make-up self multiple times a week...it's the stage of life we're in, y'all.)

Parenting is hard because the house is always a mess.  There is always laundry to do, dishes to wash and put away, and toys to clean up.  But the exact toy I put away is the exact toy she wants to play with at that exact moment.  And she wants to play with Mommy.  I can't do laundry and dishes when my girl wants to play.  I've always heard, "there will be time later to put things away."  And that's right.  There is time later when she naps or when she goes to bed.  But what they don't mention is when she naps and goes to bed, all I want to do is sit down!  Prop my feet up!  Have a drink of water! (Or wine...)  Read a book!  And most of the time I choose to sit down instead of clean up.  (Sorry to those of you who have been to my house when it's a mess...you can attest to what I'm saying, ha!)


I'm not sure the glass door will ever be clean again. ;)

Parenting is hard because I can't stop kissing her chubby cheeks when she says "no."  She's a little person now, full of her own opinions and she won't hesitate to tell me "no" when she doesn't want hugs and kisses.  But I made you!  I can hug you and kiss you any time I want to!  But, in order to teach her that people need to keep the personal boundaries you set, I solemnly let go and try to keep the hurt from my eyes.  Can't I just kiss your cheeks one more time?  "No."  Okay then.



Parenting is hard because I can't put her down when she falls asleep in my arms.  I'm going to be brutally honest here.  I rock my baby to sleep.  And I don't feel bad about it one bit.  Now that she's a little older, she's usually still slightly awake when I put her in her bed, but there are still those (fleeting!) times where she falls asleep in my arms.  And I just can't put her down.  The drool spot on my shoulder gets bigger and bigger,  her warm breath gets sweet and sweeter, and her little body just relaxes until she practically melts into me.  I know in my head it would be best to put her in her bed, but my heart just can't do it.  One more minute, just like this, please.  After all, she won't go to college wanting me to rock her to sleep!



Parenting is hard because my face hurts from smiling so much.  This child of mine is so full of life. She dances, she spins circles, she stomps her feet, claps her hands, and will send herself into fits of giggles that you can't help but laugh at.  My face hurts, y'all.  I can't help but smile when she dances to T. Swift's "Shake it Off", or sees "Mimi!" (Minnie Mouse) on tv, or attempts to mouth the songs I'm singing to her, or sees herself in pictures and says "Ha-yee!", or...the list goes on and on.  I have wrinkles around my eyes and permanent grin lines.  She fills my heart with such joy and everyday gets better and better with her.

Parenting is hard.  It's supposed to be, I think.  The constant worry, the constant fear of "am I doing this right?" But she is so worth it.  She's mine.  God made her the perfect daughter for me.  He knew just who she would need to raise her into a strong woman and He knew just who I needed to push me to be who He needs me to be for His kingdom.  I will gladly take the tough decisions, the lack of privacy, and mess, all if it means I get that one "yes, Mommy" you can have one more kiss.

The Story

(Pictures in this post are mine, faces and names are blurred out for obvious reasons.)

When I wrote my first post in January, my heart was very heavy.  Changes at work were being made quickly, and it was hard to wrap my head around what that meant for my family.  I was pretty vague in what was going on because I couldn't share too many details at that time.  But, the path has been cleared again and now I can give a little more insight into the first month of 2015 and what's been happening in our family.




If you've read very long (which I understand most probably haven't, I have a tendency to start and stop my blog depending on how busy life gets...oops!), you will know that I am a nurse.  For the last 3 1/2 years, I have been a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse in a Level III hospital.  It is my dream job.  It was the job I got after graduating nursing school.  And it is a job I love.




I have spent countless hours bathing, changing, and feeding other people's children.  I have spent hours upon hours soothing upset babies who miss their mommas, rocking and singing them back to comfort.  I have placed IV's in the tiniest of veins, taken blood pressures with the tiniest of cuffs, placed the tiniest of leads on the tiniest of bodies.




I have consoled scared parents, taught parents how to change trachs, trach ties, ostomy bags, and the physiological and psychological aspects of kangaroo care.  I have loved extra hard on babies whose parents have simply given up on them and done more post-mortem molds than I'd like to remember.
I have done compressions on the smallest bodies while witnessing the most extraordinary of miracles in the survival of the baby next door.  The same babies have taught me what it means to be a fighter, an advocate, and humble compassion for the lowest of these.



To say that these babies and families have my heart would be an understatement.  Which is why leaving them on February 11th will be so difficult for me.  



At the very end of December, we got wind of changes in the NICU effective February 22nd that would effect what we wanted for our family.  Change is inevitable and in the long run, these changes will benefit the babies I love oh so much.  So I completely understand and support the changes!  But I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place.  The changes will affect how my family runs.  Right now, Hadley isn't in daycare, but these changes were going to force us to put her in daycare.  David and I spent hours and hours analyzing every single option for our family.  I was frantic because I didn't want to throw Hadley into just any daycare--and finding a good daycare takes time and research!  Time we didn't have.  Hence my frustration and worry.

If you've made it this far, congratulations!  To make a long story a little shorter, I received an offer for  a position elsewhere in the hospital that I am really looking forward to!  Hadley will not have to go to daycare (yay!) and I will get to work some Saturdays and some evenings (not even all night...yay again!) meaning Hadley is going to get some quality time with her Daddy--and I know they are both looking forward to that!

God is good.  This was a huge test of faith for my family.  Financial burdens are a real thing and we need my paycheck.  Plain and simple.  Not working wasn't an option for us, but neither was paying a fortune for daycare.  We literally had to go to God for this whole request and he more than provided for our family.  This new position is not one I had ever thought about nor a road I ever thought I'd go down.  I don't know that I would have always been with the babies, but I didn't see myself leaving them so soon.  But God has other plans for me now and I am excited to embrace this next step in my career, while continuing to care about my sweet family I love so much!

A Picnic and a Goose Attack

Do you know what the beauty of living in the South is?  70 degree weather in the dead of winter.  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous the last few days and we have taken full advantage here.  David was off work for Martin Luther King day, so while he was doing some fix-it stuff around the house, we pulled Hadley's little tikes slide outside on the grass for her to play on.  This girl had a ball!  We were all covered in dead grass before all was said and done and Daddy sprayed us off with the leaf blower!


Playing outside on our slide!

Yesterday, I met my friend Erin (Yep! Same name!) and her sweet baby girl at Furman for a picnic and a walk around the lake.  We sat on the ground around the amphitheater and had our packed lunches, while Hadley ate some of hers and fed the majority of it to Cheyenne--the dog.  Bless her sweet heart, she seems to think that every animal is going to starve because she always feeds Marley, too.  And in her defense, Marley probably looks pretty malnourished compared to all the other dogs she's met in her short 15 months of life.  (15 months! What?!  Where did all of that time go...)


I can't get over this beauty.

After lunch, we loaded the girls up in the strollers and walked around the lake and just talked (and walked) our butts off.  It was so. much. fun.  I hardly ever get adult conversation anymore so that mixed with sunshine and exercise--it was a good day.


Walking around the Bell Tower


The Bell Tower at Furman University

Little Maddie needed a snack break so we stopped at the bell tower on campus while she ate.  Hadley enjoyed the time getting to run around and quack at all the ducks.  This was her first time seeing a duck "in real life."  She's seen them in books, but of course they are much more fascinating in 3-d.  And of course she thought they were all starving, so she kept feeding them her gerber puffs from her snack cup.  They were eating it up!  Literally.  There had to be at least 40 ducks, geese, and swans surrounding us.  Fortunately, they were in the water and we were up a little higher on solid ground.


Eating a snack while the ducks congregate in the water.

Out of no where, this huge black swan came swimming up and you could tell he was a bully.  All the other ducks backed up and he gobbled up all the snacks.  And he was really close.  Really close.  And he had that evil look in his eye like he would try just about anything to get those snacks.  I was a little wary of him and kept an eye on Hadley.  I had my camera and wanted to snap a shot of my girl sitting down, so I walked a little ways towards the water and turned my back for a split second.  Before I knew it, I heard a lot of squawking behind me, Hadley is SCREAMING bloody murder, which made me scream--which interrupted Maddie's meal and made her cry, which made the squawking continue in the water.  It was such a hysterical mess!


Evil black swan.

I knew that swan was bad news and I was right.  As soon as I turned my back on it, that thing jumped out of the water!  I think Hadley screaming scared him, though, and he hopped back in pretty quickly.  And we put the snacks away after that. ;)


My beautiful friend Erin and Maddie!

Unfortunately our warm weather will end soon-- I think I heard they might be calling for snow this weekend-- but I am grateful for the chance to get outside without a chill and for good friends to do life with!

The Principle of Sharing

Hadley is learning something new every day.  I love it.  She soaks up every piece of knowledge that comes her way and I soak up all the enjoyment of watching her learn.  Now that she's almost 15 months old and interested in other children, we've started to work on sharing.

This girl has some serious God-given spirit and spunk and she knows what she wants when she wants it.  And by golly, you better be prepared to get it or she will really get onto you.  (Literally, she tries to climb up your leg to get to whatever she's wanting.)


See?  Spunk.

She's not in day care so the only time she's around other children is 1) church nursery 2) gymboree class 3) MOPS nursery.  2 out of the 3 I'm not around to witness how she's acting, but I always get good reports so I'm going with it.  At gymboree, she's pretty independent.  I'm pretty sure she has a little monkey DNA in her (ha..) because she climbs on everything by herself and she's good at it!  But when they bring out the bucket o' balls...watch out because she will knock you over to get to them!

And she loves sharing the balls!  So weird, right?!  I've seen kids come up to her and take balls right out of her hands and she just looks at them.  (She takes after her Daddy that way.  Me personally, I would have probably grabbed the ball back and bitten the kid for good measure.)  She's recently started putting up a little fuss about it.  No tears, just reaching for the ball and signing "please".  And she's very good at giving the ball away if prompted.

I do work with her at home as well.  As in, she has to share toys with me, I share toys with her etc.  She shares her soggy, already chewed food with me, and begrudgingly I have to share my un-chewed food with her, too.  (Can't I just eat my oatmeal in peace?!  Only if I want it at 10:30 after I've already been up for 4 hours...!)


Just sharing Mom's water...

But, Hadley and I are going to have to have a serious talk here soon.  She's gotten a fever 3 times in the last 3 months (all 3 times have been after she's been in MOPS nursery/gymboree) and I'VE gotten sick every. single. time.  She's hardly been super ill, which I am SO thankful for.  She spikes a pretty nice fever for a couple hours, may be a little extra whiny, sleeps it off and--bam-- she's like brand new.  A day later, I feel a little weird and...it just keeps getting worse.  


Fevers just stink.

She's getting so good at this sharing thing, she's sharing her germs!  I love that she is so smart and learning things so quickly! But, I need her to to learn that germs is just something we don't need to share! ;)

Really, though.  I can't imagine how it would be if she were in daycare.  The horror.

On a completely different note, my blog is getting a mini-makeover.  Hubby is working really hard at making things look a little cleaner and I love him for it!  Thanks, babe!

Christmas 2014

Hadley and I headed home to family the Monday before Christmas.  (David had to work Monday and Tuesday...plus we decided we'd need 2 cars to get all of our gifts home...ha!) We had some fun stuff planned and couldn't wait to get into the Christmas spirit!

During Christmas, Charlotte has a production called The Bearstein Bears at Founder's Hall downtown.  It's a chorus of mechanical bears that sing Christmas songs.  It's really pretty neat.  My mom, Grandmom, Granddad, and I took Hadley to see the bears because we knew she would love them--and she did!  But I think she loved running around even more!  The atmosphere was so great; there were so many kids, Hadley could run some energy out, and we just had a really good time.  I'd highly recommend it if you are ever in Charlotte during the holidays!







Christmas Eve, we did our typical Christmas Eve dinner at my grandparents house, pajama search, and sat around and talked.  It's always such a blessing when we are all able to be together!  The times are few and far between now so the usual games and puzzles got pushed to the side and we enjoyed just hanging out with each other.  We also enjoyed early bed times because, you know...we're old now.







Christmas morning, we all got up and had bacon and cinnamon rolls for breakfast.  I made Hadley eat before she could open any presents.  I'm not sure how many years I'll be able to pull that off, but I knew she'd be grumpy if she didn't get some grub.  This girl loves to eat!



And then we opened gifts.  This girl is such a gracious little gift receiver!  She wanted to immediately play with whatever she opened and didn't want to open anything else until she had played enough with her toy.  (Except for clothes.  Those she threw right over her shoulder.  I guess even one year olds don't like to receive clothes as gifts!)  Hadley had so many gifts, she had to stop and take a nap before she could finish opening them!








I loved Christmas being in the middle of the week.  After all was said and done, the family was all still around for the rest of the week.  We got to spend a lot of time hanging out, catching up, and everyone got to love on our baby girl.  I don't know how, but our Christmases seem to keep getting better and better!

A New Beginning

Well, I wish I could say that I rang in 2015 with the excitement each new year should bring.  In the literal sense, I guess I did.  We had some couple friends over and we ate yummy food, played games, and laughed until we cried.

But in the bigger sense, 2014 went out and 2015 came in with a lot of uncertainty, stress, and anxiety.  My first thought was, “I’m already not a fan of 2015.”  Surely, it will redeem itself, right?  I mean, there are 359 days left in the year!

I wish I was the optimistic type, but I’m a realist to the core.  I don’t look at the glass half-full or half-empty.  The glass isn’t full and it isn’t empty.  That’s it.  

I don’t want to go into too much of the story right now, as I’m sure details will emerge over the next few weeks.  But our family life is going to have to change due to unforeseen circumstances.  I’ve looked at every option imaginable (realist, remember?) and things are still uncertain.  Ahh, I want an answer and I want it now!

On the morning of December 31st, I grabbed my bible and was scouring verses looking for something to make me feel better.  Not an answer necessarily, but just begging God to speak to me…let me know everything will be okay.  (Dramatic much?!)  I read a bunch of good bible verses, all about anxiety, about stress, about relying on God. But nothing really stood out. I closed my bible, feeling a little defeated.

Until my bible study on January 1st.  If you are a She Reads Truth fan, like myself, you know what bible study I’m talking about.  It referenced John 1:1-51.  It was a very great read, great devotional.  I could already feel my soul stirring and then, there it was.  The very thing I had been asking for just mere hours before.  

“Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” (John 1:50)

My breath left me.  I could literally hear God saying, “Erin, here I am.  This is only the beginning.  I’ve got it all covered, you will see greater things than the beginning of this year.”

God is good.  That verse had nothing to do with anxiety, or uncertainty, or dealing with stress.  It had everything to do with looking to the future.  I went looking on my own for verses to make myself feel better and I wasn’t even looking for the right thing.  He knew just what I needed and He provided in His own time.  And I know He will provide, in time, just what we need as a family.

Yes, I’m still anxious and worried, but it will work out.  I’ve got God on my side! (And this beauty, she's on my side, too!)