Well, I wish I could say that I rang in 2015 with the excitement each new year should bring. In the literal sense, I guess I did. We had some couple friends over and we ate yummy food, played games, and laughed until we cried.
But in the bigger sense, 2014 went out and 2015 came in with a lot of uncertainty, stress, and anxiety. My first thought was, “I’m already not a fan of 2015.” Surely, it will redeem itself, right? I mean, there are 359 days left in the year!
I wish I was the optimistic type, but I’m a realist to the core. I don’t look at the glass half-full or half-empty. The glass isn’t full and it isn’t empty. That’s it.
I don’t want to go into too much of the story right now, as I’m sure details will emerge over the next few weeks. But our family life is going to have to change due to unforeseen circumstances. I’ve looked at every option imaginable (realist, remember?) and things are still uncertain. Ahh, I want an answer and I want it now!
On the morning of December 31st, I grabbed my bible and was scouring verses looking for something to make me feel better. Not an answer necessarily, but just begging God to speak to me…let me know everything will be okay. (Dramatic much?!) I read a bunch of good bible verses, all about anxiety, about stress, about relying on God. But nothing really stood out. I closed my bible, feeling a little defeated.
Until my bible study on January 1st. If you are a She Reads Truth fan, like myself, you know what bible study I’m talking about. It referenced John 1:1-51. It was a very great read, great devotional. I could already feel my soul stirring and then, there it was. The very thing I had been asking for just mere hours before.
“Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” (John 1:50)
My breath left me. I could literally hear God saying, “Erin, here I am. This is only the beginning. I’ve got it all covered, you will see greater things than the beginning of this year.”
God is good. That verse had nothing to do with anxiety, or uncertainty, or dealing with stress. It had everything to do with looking to the future. I went looking on my own for verses to make myself feel better and I wasn’t even looking for the right thing. He knew just what I needed and He provided in His own time. And I know He will provide, in time, just what we need as a family.
Yes, I’m still anxious and worried, but it will work out. I’ve got God on my side! (And this beauty, she's on my side, too!)