Friday, March 14, 2014

A Bug, A Fish, and a Napless Child

I am not what I would call a girly-girl.  I don't spend hours on my make-up, I don't spend hours trying new styles with my make-up, and I don't spend hours in the store looking at make-up.  I don't stay up on the latest trends, and rarely do I read fashion magazines.  But don't let that fool you into thinking I'm a tomboy, either.  I don't like camping.  I don't play sports.  I don't like to swim in the ocean or the lake because I'm scared of what's swimming with me.  And I really don't like bugs.

Case in point.

I went upstairs to take a shower today.  Hadley sits in her bouncer while I shower just so I can keep an eye on her.  Well, upon entering the bathroom, this is what I saw:

I stopped dead in my tracks and had a moment of panic: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.  Okay, calm down.  What is that?  More importantly, where did it come from??  How did it get on the second floor?  Are there more???  Why is it so big?  It has too many legs.  Does it jump?  How can I put Hadley in the bouncer now?  Dangit, David, why do you have a job?  I need you home to kill this thing!!!

I quickly took a picture of it and sent it to David.  Because that's what you do in a moment of panic with a big, scary looking bug.

Oh my husband has many jokes.  He wants me to pick it up????  I. don't. think. so.

I laid Hadley in her bed and found a shoe (David's shoe!) and hit the bug with a loud scream.  It fell on the ground and I hit it again with David's shoe.

I still haven't looked to see if it's alive or dead.  David can do that when he gets home.  I am so worried that it's going to come back to life (kind of like that man who came back to life in the body bag?).  Lord, I believe in miracles and I know you decide when and how you will perform these miracles. But please don't let one of your miracles be shown to me in the form of a reincarnated bug.  Amen.

I think the bathroom is just having all kinds of issues, though.  Because the other night, we were getting ready for bed.  It was going to get really cold that night so we turned on the heat.  We were both brushing our teeth and I started to smell this nasty, fishy smell.  I looked at David:

Me:  Did you fart?
David: No, did you?
Me: No, but be for real.  Did you fart?
David: No, you know I'd claim it if I did it.  But I smell it, too.

We started searching and realized the smell was coming out of the vents!  After doing some google research (because that's the best place to find accurate information) I was convinced that our house was going to burst into flames at some point during the night.  I had us scouring the wall sockets at 11pm looking for any "hot spots" and melting plastic.  David insisted that everything was fine and went to bed.  He called the AC company the next day and they said, "Oh yeah, that sounds like a typical case of 'dirty sock syndrome.'"  So long story short, we don't have a lone fish dying in our vents, just HVAC coils that smell like dirty socks.  Cool.  There is no emergency with that, so we will just be smelling fish on and off until next Wednesday when they come to replace the coils.

And now, I'm off to play with my 4 month old child who refuses to nap.  It's too early to get rid of naps, child.  Get it together!

Happy Friday! :)


  1. Ummmm living in Florida now the one thing i will never get use to...cockroaches....they try to call them Palmetto bugs to make them sound more appropriate but they are awful creatures for sure! I wouldn't pick that thing up either girl..That is what man shoes are for!

  2. Hahahaha I love it!!! Gavin is even more scared of bugs than me. We once had a huge cockroach in our living room and he jumped up on the couch lol The farting questions cracked me up! Hope you have a good weekend!!

  3. GIRLFRIEND does not play with bugs!!! Ish! Can I just say, that convo you had with David is the exact convo I would have had with John! Lol, except I probably would have shut the door and shoved a towel under the door so it couldn't get out and then waited for him to come home from work lol